Celebrating Own Goal, the leading goalscorer of Euro 2024

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It was a great start to Euro 2024.

We’ve seen adventurous teams play attacking, open-minded, front-foot football, throwback forwards, packed stadiums with raucous crowds making a tremendous racket and engaging a succession of unyielding thunder bastards from long range. What’s not to like about it?

There have been some excellent individual performances, particularly from Nicolo Barella, Jamal Musiala, Fabian Ruiz and Jude Bellingham, but the star of the show so far? Some guy called Own Goal.

Four of the first 42 goals of the tournament were scored by the boy (and one was taken back) – that’s a 10 percent ratio any player would be proud of. It is already the most of any euro, apart from the 2021 event, which ended up with 11.

It feels like an unusually high number and, best of all, three is a classic of the own-goal genre. There’s some foolishness involved, so let’s talk about it.

We’ll start with the second tamest, least entertaining, and least consequential. Sorry.

It’s 4-0 to Germany, the ‘no Scotland, no party’ chants have deteriorated from thousands singing defiantly en masse to one drunk guy mumbling it darkly.

Then just take a moment to enjoy it. Andy Robertson’s deep free-kick bounces through to Scott McKenna, who heads back across the goal into the crowd of players.

It bounces off Rudiger’s head past a helpless Manuel Neuer and the Scotland fans behind the goal go crazy.

Germany is furious. They wave their arms, annoyed at the loss of a clean slate. Niclas Fullkrug even gestures that he could sink to his knees. Rudiger’s face is beautiful. Who or what does he blame? His teammates? The referee? The sky?

It was a humbling evening for Scotland, but now the celebrations can begin again. In the fan mile behind the Brandenburg Gate they jump up and down, throw pints and sing again. Everthing okay. Until the 93rd minute.

Maximilian Wober against France

France. Euro favorites, World Cup finalists, one of the best teams in the world with Kylian Mbappé, Marcus Thuram, Ousmane Dembele and Antoine Griezmann who can win any match on their own.

However, in this particular match they needed an Own Goal to come to the fore and get them three points against Austria.

Mbappé is the architect, charging to the byline past Phillipp Mwene and, well, it’s a weird one actually.

He aims for Griezmann, but instead the two Austrian defenders steal a march and both go for the ball.

Kevin Danso misses the ball, but Wober, clearly distracted by his teammate, gets the angle wrong, presumably thinking Danso is going to head himself, and inadvertently plants a beautiful, cushioned header past his own keeper.

It’s Laurel and Hardy for 2024.

Portugal seems completely devoid of ideas. They now work on autopilot, like trying to cross a busy road with a hangover. It’s all about your instincts, back to basics, crosses and long shots.

The Czech Republic, desperately holding on to a 1-0 lead, is doing well. It’s all quite meat-and-drinky for them.

Oh look, there comes another cross from Vitinha, or look, there’s Nuno Mendes at the back post, but he doesn’t score from there, no problem guys. Or, zadny problem, as they say there.

Mendes heads the ball down, but it’s pretty tame and keeper Jindrich Stanek is all over it.

Good reactions, good dive, but wait, are you going to parry it? Just now grab the ball, Jindrich, buddy.

Oh no, there’s the ricochet.

Oh no.

Oh Jindrich.

We take the brutality levels to the next level here, with plucky Albania gruesomely surrendering the lead in the space of three crazy minutes.

Croatia has already equalized and here they come again. Albania look scared, they are a bit all over the place, desperate just to get rid of the ball.

Ante Budimir pulls it back for Luka Sucic…

His shot is brilliantly blocked by captain Berat Djimsiti…

But he rebounds, slapstick style, off helpless substitute Gjasula and into the net.

Fortunately for Gjasula, he eventually grabbed the equalizer before stoppage time to put some of his banter to rest.

When is an own goal not an own goal? A question that UEFA pondered for much of Switzerland’s match against Scotland, before overriding its own judgement.

What always looked, at best, like an unfortunate deflection after a shot on target, was initially declared the fifth OG of the tournament by UEFA.

From a Scotland counter, Callum McGregor beats Scott McTominay, who hits the ball low and straight but straight to keeper Yann Sommer.

Sommer probably doesn’t feel the need to shout at Schar to leave it alone, so Schar sticks out a clumsy leg…

And it flies into the corner.

It’s not an own goal. And shortly before the match was over, UEFA updated its own decision from the 13th minute, denying Own Goal a second of the tournament against the Scots and handing it to McTominay.

Yet we are only at the 13th game of 51.

But no one on our list comes close to Martin Dubravka’s unfiltered disaster against Spain in the last Euro.

Perhaps because it was played during the pandemic when no one could remember anything, this has already been erased from people’s memories.

It’s worth putting it back in.

Pablo Sarabia’s lightning bolt shoots off the bar and goes vertical.

Dubravka has it, he’s cool, he’s going to push it over the bar for a corner, no worries.

Martin, what are you doing buddy?

It’s not a bar of soap, you just have to press it.

Oh my good lord.

Yes, the face that says you will end up Athletic own goals compilation article.

(Top image: Wyscout)